Torture is murder

Torturing a person by causing them endless pain, especially while they beg for their life, until that person feels forced to take their own life to end their suffering, is murder.
What I’m experiencing as of today:
Voices in my head, subvocal and once in a while stereo
Forced Visual effects when I try to sleep and close [...]

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It doesn’t matter

It doesn’t matter
anymore
the cold bent looks,
the soft hissing I hear
behind me.
You don’t count anymore;
not your sorry excuses to
discount me, a member
of this place called earth.
The glaring sunshine and flat plain
of this town are just as much mine
as are to any of you
and I’ll treat it so.
From now on with my every breath
I won’t hang down
in [...]

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Whining, Brainwashing and Knee-Slapping Weirdo Pod People

This is really hurting.
I’m wondering if I sound whiny on here. I’ve been treating this blog basically as an almost unfiltered diary, not caring how I sounded as I’d resolved not to change my behavior because of worry of what “they” will say, as that is one slippery slope. Everything you do or [...]

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Constant worsening and upkeep of electronic harassment

For the past two days a marked worsening of one certain effect, the pain jolts that last about 1 second but can be very painful and feel almost like needles. It might be worse the aftereffect which is your body goes info a fight-or-flight mode but of course, there’s no way to guard or [...]

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Recent mind abuse

I don’t have dates but recently:

had the word antediluvian, put into my head (means old, I’m 32 years old and this is one of their themes for me, that I’m ancient, just another negative theme that is accepted just because they put it out there, like the greed one)
another word, vituperation. basically bitter [...]

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Feeling somewhat better

Not feeling so urgent, or that my life as it is now is hopeless. My plan is just to go on as normally as possible, and ignore it as much as possible. That left me wondering whether it was good or bad to write here, but considering the recent worsening of effects, I’m [...]

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Irritable

Well not a great day so far. I feel this sort of hopeless depressed restless and irritable feeling. I feel some anger today at what’s being done to me and my family and how people can be this clueless and this ugly. You don’t need to know it all to know what [...]

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Ha! Going back to College

I forgot to write in last post,today was the first day of going back to my original school and completing my degree. At least it was supposed to be. I couldn’t even handle making a phone call there. The guy was speaking in breakneck speed. I don’t know, maybe I should [...]

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Forgot things were that bad

I just read my first post over 6 months ago. I had forgotten how bad things were. I guess it’s possible I’ve blanked out some of my experiences, and/or my memory is very bad.I do wish I’d kept up this blog now, again, memory is not good, and then I went and threw [...]

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