Trying to find a reason

Trying to find a reason
to think life is worthwhile
when dreams have become etched
copies of dried out scrolls,
no squeeze is left in these languidly
rolling daydreams.
so what is there now?
Day to day survival, for some
higher purpose above pain?
But listen, pain is pain and
I don’t care. I
don’t care about staying standing
even though I’ll lose, no Rocky
heroics for me.
What [...]

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Jerking e-harassment video

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It doesn’t matter

It doesn’t matter
anymore
the cold bent looks,
the soft hissing I hear
behind me.
You don’t count anymore;
not your sorry excuses to
discount me, a member
of this place called earth.
The glaring sunshine and flat plain
of this town are just as much mine
as are to any of you
and I’ll treat it so.
From now on with my every breath
I won’t hang down
in [...]

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Zero Circle – by Rumi

“Zero Circle” a poem by Rumi (13th century Persian mystic)
Be helpless, dumbfounded,
Unable to say yes or no.
Then a stretcher will come from grace to gather us up.
We are too dull-eyed to see that beauty,
If we say we can, we’re lying.
If we see
No, we don’t see it.
That No will behead us
And shut tight our window into [...]

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Not wanting to die

You know I really don’t. This sucks. I don’t know if this is bad luck or what. It shouldn’t have been this bad. I really could have had a life. I guess those are the risks when you go off the road, you might find your real life or you [...]

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Original plans back on , suicide triggers warning

I’m not even going to go into this too much, but, they are winning, and that’s it. I can’t do this for the rest of my life. I really don’t see any reason to continue doing this. I can’t even do anything about it for at least a few more months due [...]

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Perps masquerading as Targets

This is a topic I don’t see discussed much at all, but since I’ve discovered I was a targeted individual, almost every supposed target I have contacted has been a perp, or probably a perp. I feel embarrassed at saying this because I feel it sounds paranoid, but I’m certain by now that a [...]

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Circle – poem

I dreamed a ring of fire enclosed
us, it roared and singed but
the flames around would make us friends
and keep outsiders shut;
The bond of need, cemented tight
by the lonely girls became
A dead playground, we knew too much
and ghosts shifted the blame.
Resentful friends no longer spoke;
The fire split and cleaved through
our circle, burning clear other
paths and making [...]

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A half-decent poem at 15- Glory Worship

So I’m having a bad day and trying to occupy it now by finding lost poems.  Here is one actually decent one from when I was 15 years old, only 17 years ago.
Glory Worship
Mossy aqua velvet reservoir
Rainbow reflections
of plastic sea creatures
Against a crispy marmalade sun
Wispy strands of cloud
Compliment an open dome
of periwinkle sky
Dust claps in [...]

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Joaquin Phoenix pic

I have a bit of a crush, OK?

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